Anger: Using passion to manipulate people and control circumstances
How does anger express itself in your daily life?? Are you the passionate, say-it-as-it-is-type or more the quiet seething type? Do you express your anger differently at work than you do in other contexts such as home and church? What does this say about you/me?
While acknowledging that there is anger that is appropriate (see Ephesians 4:26), Stevens and Ung argue that ‘… most forms of anger residing within us are destructive’ and give plenty of examples of how this ‘soul-sapping struggle‘ impacts in the workplace:
- Getting mad at co-workers
- Humiliating others
- Seething in silence when? someone steals our idea or gets the credit
- Frustrations when our spouse tells us we are working too hard
- General feelings of irritability directed at no one in particular
I loved this insight- “Anger freezes over a warm and generous heart, leaving behind a permafrost of politeness and niceness (punctuated by icicles or resentment and sarcasm).”
In thinking about anger, the authors discuss the reflections of John Cassian, a fourth-century theologian:
- Be careful of short-term solutions when dealing with anger – we become scornful of others
- Avoid using silence and derision as weapons to provoke anger in others
- Avoid attempting to preserve a veneer of niceness when anger is deeply embedded
- Be alert to the physical impact of anger on your body – loss of appetite, sleeplessness, fantasies of control
Cassian suggests four ideas for dealing with anger which apply when people work in teams:
- Ensure you remain calm in your lips as well as the depths of your heart
- Do not speak in rage
- Say no to vengeance
- Ask God to enlarge your heart
And finally, three suggestions from the authors – indirect actions that will decrease our desire to take control as expressed in anger :
- Cultivate meekness – confess your own struggles and anger before God
- Cut off anger at the roots – become aware of anger emerging
- Foster gentleness when you aren’t angry – pray for your enemies, forgive as Jesus forgave
Next time: Gentleness – The strength of meekness (Chapter 14)
Stevens, R. P., and Ung, A. (2010).?Taking Your Soul to Work: overcoming the nine deadly sins of the workplace.??Grand Rapids, Michigan. Eerdmans
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